Your Place in the Birth Space
Labor is NOT just intense for the person experiencing contractions, it can also be intense for you to see your partner in distress. If you need a short break, let Marissa or your nurse know and take the time to regroup.
Do not starve yourself and go without sleep the entire time. Feel out the situation and see when it is appropriate to try and get in a short nap or snacks.
Do not tell your partner to get an epidural if a plan for an unmedicated births was made. She will bring it up and make the decision if she wants it. Have a “code word” unrelated to labor for her to use to let you know she is in her right mind when making that decision.
Do not laugh or make jokes at your partner’s expense when she is in pain.
Do not tell your partner to “just relax” or any other “just” statement.
Try to avoid asking your partner a lot of questions, like “are you okay?” or “what do you want me to do?” She is in an altered state of mind during labor and listening to words will become more difficult. Keep statement short and simple. Ask Marissa or your OB/midwife what you can do to help.
Do not go with her just to sleep, be on your phone or watch TV the entire labor. She needs your support.
If you’re not feeling well (feverish, dizzy, sick in any way) do not keep that to yourself. Tell your birth team and let them make arrangements for relief.
Do not invite family or friends to the birth unless she has asked for them to be there. Uninvited guests can throw the labor completely off track and make for a very stressful experience.